running is not a family sport

Honestly, I am making a mediocre effort into running again. It's hard. I went to work today. I don't officially come back from maternity leave until August 27th. I thought I would ease into it by going in a couple days a week until my time runs out. All day I dreaded the workout room but knew I had to make an attempt to run after I put in my 8 hours. Around 5:30 I was sure most of my co-workers were out of the building thus I made my way to the changing rooms. However, upon entry, I found one stragler from work there just newly changed into his work out gear. I walked into the individual changing room and stood there in the dark hoping that he hadn't seen me. Turning on the light, trying to push myself, I caught my reflection and thought, I can't be seen in my neon green shorts, I can't make him witness to my enormous breasts bound up and down as try to act cool on the treadmil. Therefore, I quickly dashed out of there. I don't think he noticed.

I tried to make a quick go of it before the rain started this evening at home. However, my 4 year old has turned into a dedicated athlete lately. If he's not trying to get me to take him bowling or wrap up his wrists like the gymnists on the olympics, he is putting his socks and shoes on to go running. I can't even sneak out of the house without him sobbing that he wants to go too. In order for me to go to out for my daily exercise tonight I had to get the whole family equipped with park gear. I did my best to not complain but I was muttering to myself the whole time in my head. I had thought about sneaking out the back door and just leaving but couldn't even make it back through the house without being found out. I have no place to run in this tiny house we live in. As we were making it to the park I saw dark clouds, lighting in the distance, and could hear rolling thunder approaching. I kept telling myself, I just have to push through.

It all caught up to me. I turned around to run back to Levi on bike, Helio trying to run with the running stroller in his flip flops, and Dante blinking away light sprinkles. I took the baby in the running stroller from Helio in an attempt to speed things along and was rewarded with a downpour. By the time we got home Dante was taking big gulps of air and all I could think of is, this has the uncanny resemblance to waterboarding my infant. He took it all in stride, no tears, but I could see a bit of panic starting to set in. Nothing a little nursing can't cure.

I am going to need to push it up a level. I have to fully commit to running. This half-ass stuff is not getting me anywhere. I need a new game plan or plan of attack in getting out of the house without witness.