01.06.07 Day 19, Mexico Trip 1

It’s 8pm and Levi and I are sitting in a hotel room in Cuernavaca watching more cartoons in Spanish- tonight it is the Bernstein Bears, just all in Spanish. I lollygagged today at Playa Azul. I got up at 7:30 and went to the beach. Then I cooked myself in the sun again until I finally had to force myself out of a hammock to pack our bags again. (all of my clothes are so dirty and smelly, I have worn them all over and over and have washed a couple times- maybe I am a princess, I like clean clothes) We left Playa Azul with a reservation to return on Monday with Susan and Jonathan. We started out around 1pm which obviously, was not enough time to get Levi and me to Cuernavaca and Helio on a bus to pick up our friends in D.F. by 9:30. You just can’t tell what you are going to get for traffic here. The roads are so twisty, windy, and bumpy that is hard not to get car sick- especially when you are reading. I try to read because I can’t help but feel depressed when I see how trashed the country side is here.

By the time we arrived in Cuernavaca my efforts to remain clean after my shower just didn’t work. It took almost 6 hours to return to Cuernavaca when it should have taken between 4 and 5. Helio doesn’t want to use the air as he thinks he is going to catch his death by air conditioning and if Levi has a cough he totally blames it on that. So, we had to drive with the windows open which really doesn’t make a huge difference when you have to drive slowly through towns to get over the topes. Those topes are going to be the end of me.

Helio quickly parked the truck when we arrived and then we had to foot it about 15 blocks to his ex-step-mom’s boutique. He had high hopes that we could stay at her house. However, he hasn’t been able to get a hold of her one time since Levi and I have arrived (personally, I don’t think he has the right phone number). So there was a hotel across the street and near anger, sweating with a 40 pound backpack on my back and a 33 pound toddler on my hip, I just said, “I am staying there, I don’t care what happens” So, for $45, we are in a lovely hotel in downtown Cuernavaca and I feel sort of relieved to just have some Levi and I time, maybe I have just become too accustomed to single parenting. +I don’t think Helio is a good planner and it makes me mental. I am hoping that it is just something that everyone endures in their marriages but when I am sitting in silence allowing him to “figure it out” I repeat in my head “well, if I had figured this out, we would not be experiencing this”. Maybe I am just arrogant. We are NOT good candidates for The Amazing Race, we would probably be disqualified for vulgarity and evil looks.

I can’t believe that we will be boarding a plane in about a week. It seems to have gone by quickly and then also, it seems to have been a long time since I was worrying about the bandits in my back alley trying to break into my car. (let’s be honest, I still lay in bed and worry they are breaking into my car and that my tire is flat and that there will be 6 feet of snow in my driveway when I get back and I will have to shovel it all before I get to work on Monday) But, Staring at the Sea as The Cure says, it just so amazing. It will be sad to leave.

I am so excited for Susan to come. I am sure I will have lots of good pictures to send home and some good stories too. I am also happy to spend a little time in Cuernavaca. After Levi and I brought our backpack up to the room we walked around downtown a little. It is really pretty. We were here a week and a half ago but I didn’t have a lot of leisure time. It is lovely here, sort of reminds me of what I have seen in movies of a small little town in Italy. There were all sorts of vendors- food, jewelry, kid’s toys, etc. and entertainers such as fire jugglers and the like in the huge open courts they have down here. It is beautiful. I was sort of complaining that I didn’t want to leave Playa Azul yesterday but I think it is good to hang here until we go back on Monday. My skin could use a rest from the biting ants and the sun.

Bless the people in Chilpancingo, they have McDonalds. When we pulled into the parking lot Levi started jumping up and down in the car. He and I stood out so much in the kids play area. It actually made me feel super uncomfortable. That and the extremely loud Mexican version of “So This is Christmas” playing on the loud speaker. There was a loop of like 5 traditional American Christmas songs blasting in Spanish the whole time we were there, while they might have the right songs, I don’t think that they know that the day after New Year’s, the holiday season is kaput in the states, I think they should take suit, be done with it already. I felt like everyone was watching my little blonde kid running through the play area and I felt a little protective. I have the crazy irrational mother instinct of someone is going to swipe him up in a flash and he will be gone forever. If I could put a leash on him, I would.

To get directions Helio stops anyone within ear shot on the street and first yells something like “Primo” (cousin), “Hermano” (brother) “Cuate” (friend)- depending on his/her authoritative look and his mood, he determines how close he and the stranger really are. I see how so many of his habits that sort of embarrass me at home have been birthed. Here, I guess you have to yell out the window to get directions without stopping- we usually come to a slow roll but he gets his directions and then we are off. He has no problem stopping an Army official to ask for directions or where a certain restaurant is. All with his huge riffle and his hard hat (really that has to be so hot in the sun). With those guys, he usually uses “Primo”, I think he just wants to be related to someone that does something other than cook chickens or lay in a hammock.

I need a pedicure so badly. My feet are so dry and cracked from walking around without shoes. (I know, rough life) I need a buff and a polish and feel so guilty that I think of it like 50 times a day when Helio is trying to figure out how to live on $300 until he finds some sort of income. Part of me thinks “well, you really should have done something about that before you were left with $300” and the other part of me feels really bad for him. I just want him out of this country and home where he belongs. He is so ready. Sometimes when he isn’t around, I just start crying about it. He is just so different because of this experience. He lost his drive, his spark, and his interest. There isn’t anything to strive for down here. I understand why people just don’t try, what is there to try for? The country is just such a mess and I feel like all those people who are risking their lives sleeping for weeks in the desert along the border in hopes that some “coyote” can get them over are just hoping for more in a place where they can actually get more. Those are the people with ambitions, drive, and hope.

I figured out I lost one of my journal entries from the first of January. That makes me sad because I am such a space case I can’t remember what I said but I thought it was interesting.