01.11.07 Day 24, Mexico Trip 1

Conchita took Helio, Levi and myself out for breakfast today at a restaurant named I Sanborne’s. (Susan and Jonathan left for Minnesota at 4 am this morning.) I would equate it to a Byerly’s. It was great, I had French toast, bacon, and a real cup of coffee (not Sanka). Sanborne’s is in a mall. When we arrived, I totally felt like I was at home and I could see Levi’s face light up as well. He ran through the mall. I think I am in love commercialism the more I see how walking into a well lit mall makes my heart race. Conchita and I had a lot of time to visit alone as Helio spent most of the meal casing after Levi. It was nice to just sort of get to know her more. She is a very kind woman and the more I am around her, the more I respect her. I just have to get used to the sort of pushy nature of her and the rest is cake. After breakfast we walked around the mall for a while. Levi and I found a magazine stand and Levi laid on the floor to read something that looked like the Mexican version of Highlights, I miss magazines. I finally found a Starbucks but I had to decline as I tried to drink as much coffee as I could at breakfast, I just can’t win. We walked through the mall and found a few very cool clothing stores and nice shoe shop. Conchita insisted on buying me some new leather boots. That moment felt like one of the longest moments of my life. I kept trying to get her not to buy the boots but she looked wounded that I wouldn’t let her. I broke into a sweat all over. I had to try on both boots, model them around, get the opinion of a few sales clerks and then help her pick out shoes for herself. As much as I am warming up to her, it felt weird to jump right into fashion with her. Baby steps, baby steps... The Mexicans like to dive right in. Just like when I met Helio, he started telling me that he was going to marry me a month or so into our getting to know one another, and through a translator. They just see what they want and go for it.

Helio told me about Mexico’s new pet control policy. In general, many cities have had big problems with mangy dogs (and I can attest to it, I have seen many in my short time here) and so the big dogs decided they needed to do something to clean up the mess. Instead of catching the dogs and bringing them to the pound, there is a group of guys that goes around looking for dogs. When they find them, regardless of how mangy they are, how little they are, or how much someone loves them, they douse them with a bucket of water and then connect the wet dog to cables that are attached to the big battery they tow around. Wow, I don’t know what I would do if I saw that. Mexico is messed up.

Helio has been telling me for years that the stars are super bright in Jona and that one day I need to see them. I have sort of ignored this but now really think it is true. Being from the North Country, I thought they were bright up there, but here, it is nearly distracting. They are so bright and it draws you outside in the night.

Helio explained another tradition to me last night. As we were driving back to Jona he pointed out some vans and people with La Virgen t-shirts. At first I didn’t notice that there was anything in particular happening as there are often times big vans decked out with Our Lady Guadalupe, there are random cars pulled over on the side of the road and there are always people standing road side in the night. I guess the Catholic folks down here make a promise to La Virgen to run from Jona to Mexico City in some sort of relay. Of course, it has to be on a major highway and in the dark, I think the more dangerous, the more dedicated Catholic you are.

I think it is sad that everything is behind a fence here. There isn’t much civic architecture. Everyone is afraid of being robbed, because it happens all the time, houses and public buildings for the most part are all built behind a fence. It does help me sleep at night knowing that if someone wanted to rob me of my laptop they would have to get through a big locked metal gate or jump the roof where of course, there are broken glass bottles coating the roof line. (I have seen many houses that actually have razor wire all along the perimeter of their house, I will send photos) When we pull up to the house here in Jona, we drive along a two lane street that does not have a shoulder and a small sidewalk on either side. Helio puts his hazards on and has to back up traffic as he unlocks the gate and then backs into the drive behind the gate. Everything is built out to the street. It makes everything feel very closed off and congested.

We went to meet Helio’s mama de verdad (real mom) today. I was so nervous as I have spent many hours of my last 5-6 years being angry with her for not doing everything in her power to be an actual mother to Helio (she totally ditched him when he was about 4). I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to hide it. Her house is right outside of Cuernavaca. We drove up to what I think looks sort of like the projects from what I have seen from Central Duluth hillside and movies of cities that have “the projects”. We were greeted by one of her daughters (from a different relationship other than Helio’s dad). We waited on her sofa for about 10 minutes for her to come home. (she was somewhere in the complex visiting with someone) Of course, I was afraid to touch anything but Levi was trying his best to catch the two goldfish in their fish tank. When she arrived, I was totally floored, she looks nothing like I expected. This is awful, but she is very very unattractive with very bad teeth, I don’t know how Helio is so beautiful and has such great teeth because he had many strikes against him to start out with. Maybe it is that you can just see her life all over her and that is what makes her unattractive. It was a little difficult to swallow her walking into the room to see Levi with open arms and say “I am your grandmother, give me a kiss”. I was so proud of Helio sitting next to him there in her house. I know how he feels inside but he was so polite and kind. She kept giving him marital advice which I don’t know if I could have handled if I were him. I nearly had to walkout of the room when she asked him how old he and Alan are. Instead of walking out, I waited for the tears to subside while I turned my attention in the opposite direction to the TV. Sara has like 4-5 more children aside from Alan and Helio and it doesn’t seem she remembers the first two she had. It was weird to see Helio try to ask his half sister to come outside to take a photo and say “vamos afuera, aaaaa, como te llamas….” (let’s go outside, aaaa, what’s your name?)

I have bites all up and down my legs because I was eaten alive by mosquitoes when we went to Conchita’s borther’s house to swim. Or course, I started scratching like mad as we were visiting with his mom and half sisters. (One’s name is Erika and the other, not sure) -Totally a nervous habit of mine to scratch all over when I get a little uncomfortable or anxious. So, Sara wanted to do the motherly thing and help as a good Mexican woman does. I so wish I could have stopped but my hands just kept going right back to the bites on the backs of my legs. She kept offering to coat me in lime or rubbing alcohol. I finally had to let her rub me down with rubbing alcohol. I opted for that as I thought that the lime might attract more bugs.

The apartment smelled a bit funky and the air was so stale that I kept coughing. Perhaps it was just that I didn’t want to absorb anything of her and that is why I felt like I was going to choke the whole time I was in there. Luckily, I had a bunch of cough drops in my bag and ate a few while we were there to keep me from holding my breath or running to the street for fresh air. They were good and strong so the only thing I could smell after a while was spearmint Halls.

I didn’t realize that she knew about Levi and me. I guess Alan has been over to her house and shown her pictures of our wedding and has talked about us. It was reassuring to hear that he has said good things about me. I totally thought he hated me. Sara went on and on about how lucky Helio is because I work and that there aren’t many women who work and expect everything to be handed to them. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t work. I explained that it is easy to work when you do what you love and you have great people to work with. Aside from having a fantastic job, I would be so sad if all I did all day was make meals, clean up and visit with the neighbors. I don’t know why anyone would want that for their life.

I tried to keep my distance as much as possible. Levi on the other hand made himself right at home. As I was trying to get him to stop running into the back bedroom they kept saying to me “Dejalo” (leave him, he’s fine) So I did my best to relax. I let him run around a bit. He went upstairs with one of the girls to see a couple dogs and kept walking into their kitchen. Then to my horror he walked over to the table and grabbed a box of Corn Flakes, took the bag out and plopped down on their sofa to eat them. I tried to stop him but as they kept saying “dejalo”. He spread Corn Flakes all over their house and they wouldn’t let me clean it up. Then Sara wanted to give him things, she gave him a big yellow ball they had upstairs and a bottle of baby shampoo. (huh?) The people down here are fascinated with his hair.

The ride back Helio talked a bit about our visit to Sara’s house. He said he just doesn’t want to get close but tries his best to respect her. I told him that he never has to go back if he doesn’t want to. (she wants to cook for us before Levi and I return home, I don’t think I can handle a meal there) As he was reflecting on our experience he said “the thing that makes me proud is I have my own family, home, and life outside of all of that and I did it in a country that isn’t mine”

The Mexicans love fireworks. However, their fireworks are not like back at home. I still have yet to see a pretty explosion in the sky. I only hear the noise. On our ride to Jona, I saw a few of these “fireworks” and there isn’t anything to see, it is just a stream of smoke and a poof, bang, then nothing. It sort of reminds me of the holidays down here. There is a lot of talk about a big party or celebration, then everyone gets together and it never feels like anything gets going. We are all just gathered together and then, poof, bang, I just want to go home because there is nothing happening.

We returned to Jona in the night. Our baptismal pool has turned green in our absence. I guess Helio was right when he said “things could be worse” when I was complaining about bathing a 5 gallon bucket. Now there are many insect varieties floating on the top of our bacteria filled swamp. This is the water that I am supposed to bathe, brush my teeth, and wash the dishes with. I still haven’t figured out what I am going to do.

I should stop writing here; this is becoming a long entry. I have many more things to say but maybe they will have to wait until I get back. -Just a few more days.